It’s the big changes in life that cause numerous anxieties. Whether it’s a new child entering the family, or making big decisions that impact the family unit, it’s important that we ensure we know everything and are making the right decisions. When it comes to putting our parents into care, there can be a lot of guilt, not just because we could feel that we’re betraying their wishes, especially if they have ailing health, but we could feel bad that we didn’t do enough when there was the chance. But what we can do is, from here on in, make sure that they are treated with dignity and respect. What are the best ways to do this?
Giving Them As Many Choices As Possible
They are their own person, and as ailing health or their mental capacities begin to decline, it’s always a sticky issue when it comes to making decisions on their behalf. But, it’s a right we all have as people to make the decisions to the best of our ability. Sometimes there can be sticking issues, when it comes to things like hospital discharge care, or the services a care home provides, or general medical issues, but what we have to do is provide as many different options so they can make a decision that they are happy with, and you are happy with.
Strengthening That Bond
Your children, their grandchildren, may be perplexed as to what’s going on, and it can feel like the grandparents are being taken away to an extent. And because we are so busy in our lives, time seems to erode any notion of strengthening the family bond. It’s a well-worn cliché that when you put someone in a home, that you may as well lock them up. So why don’t we try to make positive changes? Instead of making our parents feel that they are being put out to pasture, why don’t we work doubly hard to strengthen that bond? Not just for their sake, but for the children’s sake, as well as ours.
Look at it from the perspective of your parent, regardless of their mental capacity. If you’ve made a promise to them, you must keep it. As we have to work doubly hard to ensure that they are getting the quality of care they need, not to mention as much comfort as humanly possible, we may feel stretched to our capacity, but if we make promises that we can’t keep, this will not do anyone any favors. Their glimmer of hope is to see you. If you let them down, be prepared to face the consequences. Yes, there are things that get in the way, unforeseen circumstances and the like, but if you’ve made a promise, and there’s no reason for you not to keep it, then you know what to do!
Many emotions come to the fore when we put our parents into care, and it’s not just the professional concerns or the financial concerns, but it’s also about ensuring our parents have that dignity and respect that they deserve. And this, above all else, is the priority.